Instead of sending out my usual newsletter (or blog) and pretending as if everything is normal, I felt compelled to write you a letter. My intention is to share openly with you, rather than maintain appearances during challenging times.

First and foremost, I want to thank you for being a supporter of mine. Each person who reads my blog, newsletter, follows me on social media, or invites me into their lives and homes means more to me than I can express in words. Your support and presence are deeply valued, and I am truly grateful for you.

It is important for me to be honest about the struggles I have faced recently. The past five months have been especially difficult. I have experienced significant loss, with several family members and friends passing away. Many loved ones, including my mother, have been dealing with serious health problems. David and I contracted Covid again, and due to my immunocompromised system, I suffered long Covid. In addition to these personal hardships, the current state of the world has often made me feel sad and hopeless. There are times when I feel as though I have a target on my back.

Fear has become a part of my daily life. I am afraid to step outside my front door, to walk to places, or to wait for the CTA. Since I do not drive, I depend on my husband, Lyft, and public transportation. Walking used to be something I loved; if a destination was within 35 minutes on foot, I would choose to walk. Now, I rarely do. When I must walk, I carry a whistle, pepper spray, and my Birdie for protection. I walk quickly, constantly looking over my shoulder. Nightmares about what happens outside my front door haunt me, and the fear of what is happening in my surroundings is ever-present. I fear for the providers that I send to jobs and don’t know when the fear is going to go away.

People often try to comfort me by saying things like, “You don’t look that Mexican, you can pass,” or “You were born here, you’re American, you’re educated.” While I am all of these things, these reassurances miss the point. They do not change the reality of what is happening. I encourage you to truly look around and educate yourself about the facts. I know that I’m one of the “lucky ones.” I see families being torn apart, benefits and aid being taken away from the ones who need it most, and the cost of living going up for everyone. As an advocate for domestic workers, families and children; I won’t be silenced. 

I have done my best to make my voice heard and contribute where I can, but I am exhausted. The toll on my mental health, with anxiety and depression, can be overwhelming. However, experiencing these emotions does not make me weak; it simply makes me human.

I will continue to fight in any way I can, no matter how small. I am now even more mindful of where I do business—who I bank with, where I shop, and where I eat. Our choices about where we spend money have always mattered and will continue to matter. For all the ways you have supported me—whether through my childcare agency, attending my seminars, purchasing from my bookstore or Counter store, or recommending me to others—I am sincerely thankful. Your love, support, and patronage do not go unnoticed, especially in these times. I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart.

I strive to find hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am grateful to those who have reached out to me and to those who have let me share in the joy of spending time with their children. Your kindness and connection mean everything to me. Thank you.

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